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L.A. Beat

Ask Margo

Ask Margo: Relax, it’s big enough.

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Q- Does size really matter to women? If so, why or why not?

A- Numerous studies have examined women’s preferences for men’s size. These studies consistently show that women care a whole lot less about their partner’s penis size then do the men who own them.

For example Lever, Frederick, and Paplau found  “85 per cent of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size,” whereas “only 55 per cent of men were satisfied”.(Does Size Matter?: Men's and Women's Views on Penis Size Across the Lifespan, published in Psychology of Men and Masculinity, 2006) In other words, it’s possible almost half the men out there worry about their penis size, and for what?

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Many other studies have also found that most women prefer an average size penis to a large one. That’s right, women like ‘average sized men’, not donkey-men. And what is the average sized penis you might ask? Good question. It’s generally accepted that six inches is the average size. 

We don’t really know this for certain because the studies that look into this kind of thing rely on men to tell the truth about their size. These studies basically just have to take men’s word for it which hardly seems reliable. I don’t know about any of you other ladies out there, but I have certainly had a partner claim (more than once BTW) that their penis is bigger than it actually is.


Ask Margo: Of course it’s okay to pretend you’re menstruating.

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Q- Dear Margo: The other day I caught my two primary-school-aged daughters in the tub with red food colouring and they were playing 'vagina blood' by dropping red food colouring into the water by their girl-bits.

This is not the first time I have caught them pretending to be menstruating. Should I be concerned that these kids are playing menstruating games? This seems really messed up. Are they being abused or something?

A- You obviously don’t need me to tell you that childhood sexual abuse is a serious issue and that a concerned parent should never ignore any of their suspicions and should instead educate themselves, and/or consult a professional. I am not a professional, but I can tell you what I think.

If your concerns are based on this incident alone, then no, I don’t think they are being abused. Your girls have an appropriate vocabulary for their body parts.

They call a vagina, a vagina (they didn’t tell you that they were playing the “sissy-blood game”). So someone has taught them, or they have learned for themselves, the proper word for their genitals.

Some would argue this form of frankness about their anatomy puts them less at risk of being abused, and it makes it easier for them to tell someone when something is wrong.


Ask Margo: Keep your eye on the birth control, and stick your nose where it counts

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Q-My girlfriend casually mentioned she wants to start having children in the next five years and then looked at me right after shefrom said it.

I didn’t respond and the conversation moved on to something else. I didn’t tell her I don’t think I ever want kids. Do I tell her now? We have been dating for about four months or so and I am happy to be with her but don’t know what to say about kids.

A- If she asks you, than yes; tell her. She was fishing, and since you didn’t react she probably got the hint you are not keen to discuss it right now.  You can probably count on it that she will bring it up again.

But try not to worry. Anything can happen in five years. Also, make sure you are using a reliable form of birth control. Just sayin’.  

Q- Dear Margo, I read your column where you talk about snooping to catch men who may be cheating on their girlfriends but it hardly talks about how to do it.

If my boyfriend is cheating he won’t be easy to catch because he doesn’t email, or doesn’t have anything on his phone that he would hide, and if he did he would delete it before he gets home. So saying that you can snoop doesn’t really help me.


Ask Margo: You Don’t Have to Tell Her You’re a Virgin

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Q- I think the movie 40-Year-Old Virgin was based on my life. I’m not bad looking, I have a good job and interesting hobbies. But the older I get, the harder it is to admit to a woman that I have never had sex. I’m almost ashamed of it. So the question is, what do women think when a guy tells her he’s a virgin? Do they back away or are most pretty accepting? When do you bring it up in a relationship?

 A-  I once dated a guy who lost his virginity late. When he was younger he had a lot of girls interested in him, but he was too shy to pursue them. As he got older his confidence grew but by the time he was ready to put from clipart.comon the moves, alas, the ladies were gone. It took him years to finally meet his taker, and by then his intact virginity was some kind of shameful secret, something he should get rid of ASAP.
 Part of the reason for this shame is that virgin men have no clue how women will feel about their virginity.

It is often assumed that the man is more experienced than his female partner, which is (of course!) not always the case. Still, many women don’t want a virgin, but instead revel in thinking their lover has this long sexual history, full of young girls who were left in the dust. Yet there are women who want to be virginity takers, or at least they want to be the one in charge, showing the guy a thing or two. It really just depends on the woman. Anyway, what matters more is how you make your partner/date feel.

When do you bring it up in the relationship? Whenever you damn well want to, that’s when. Whenever you are comfortable enough, and not a second sooner, and if that time never comes, than so be it.


Ask Margo: His behaviour is more telling than words

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Q- I have been seeing the same guy on and off for the past year or so. We started out as friends, but when I went away for a few months last summer from clipart.comwe began chatting all the time and completely hit it off.

Since then he has gone away for work for a few weeks at a time. The first time he went away things cooled a little and didn’t heat up again until he had been back in town for a while. We seem to be getting closer and closer with time, only we don’t call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we are pretty much together.

But most of the time I feel like I am the one calling him and asking him to do things and I wonder how much he really cares. Anyway, recently we decided to go on a vacation together and things went really well, he told me he loved me for the first time and I felt really connected to him. We have been back for over a month and it’s like nothing happened on our vacation.

He hasn’t said I love you to me since, except for once when we were saying bye on the phone, and he is back to not calling me and only hanging out with me when I ask if he is available.

It really hurts me to think that I have to be the one to keep things going and that he may not be that interested in taking things to the next level.

Do I forget my feelings for him and just keep it as a “friends with benefits” thing?

A- If you are going to forget your feelings for him, “friends with benefits” is not the way to go. Come on now, you must know that if you are in this deep, you will have to break it off with him completely in order to forget, and even that will take some time. 

Also, friends with benefits don’t go on vacation together and throw the l-word around! Don’t sell your relationship, and yourself, short. You may be attempting to avoid putting labels on your relationship, but giving it a false label is not the way to get around it.

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