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L.A. Beat

Ask Margo: Nice tats, let’s be friends

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Q- Dear Margo: I was working in my office the other day when I accidentally noticed a colleague of mine of the opposite gender has a SUPER interesting tattoo on one of her boobs. I really like tattoos and really want to discuss this with her, but the manner in which I saw it was via an 'accidental glimpse' when she was tying her shoe. I don't want her to think I am the workplace perv. Should I just acknowledge there are some tattoos that I can't ask about, or should I bring it up somehow?

A- The ‘maybe I should try not to come off as perv’ instinct you have is a good one. Use it. It will protect you. Cause this dilemma is too plagued by ‘what-ifs’: what-if she is uncomfortable with me mentioning her tat?; what-if she does not mind me mentioning her tat but another co-worker overhears the conversation and reports it?; what-if I’m not totally clear on what my company constitutes as sexual harassment?; what-if she is eager to talk about her tattoo but is not so eager to be reminded that whenever she bends forward, for whatever reason, some dude somewhere will (apparently unwillingly) chest-glance her?; ya know? All these what-ifs just to talk about tattoos? Is it worth the risk? I don’t think so.

Help a guy out

Q- Dear Margo, I broke my wrist and can’t masturbate with the cast I have on. Is it fair to ask my GF to help me out every day?

A- This is a touch too demanding of you. Though it’s a legit request, some women may not like that you even asked, while some may be more than happy to assist you. You know your girlfriend best. If you don’t know how she will react you can always start the conversation by revealing your troubles (do not assume she already knows how frustrated you are! Some of us would never make the connection until we are hit over the head with it, and then it’s like ‘ooooh!’). She might sympathize to your advantage.  

Or solve the problem yourself by learning the great skill of doing it with your non-dominant hand. (I thought most guys could already do this, but since a lot of girls cannot easily do it, I don’t know why I am surprised? I think I’m probably sexist when it comes to masturbation.

I just assumed that all dudes have ‘mastered’ it all.) It may not be comfortable at first so don’t just outright switch hands because your body might stumble over the sudden difference. Instead try putting the casted hand over the non-dominant one so that it feels at least a little bit the same. If this is too frustrating then buy a toy.

No you don’t need to buy a huge blow up doll or anything. There’s a selection of smaller pocket toys out there that make it possible for you to use your casted hand, and they should be available at any sex-shop. They are expensive, but if this is a necessary part of your daily routine then is it not worth the money?
Ask Margo for advice: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

—  By Margo, Special To L.A. Beat
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